You're The Reason
by White-Knight-1988
Summary: A realization leads to a confession. A confession leads to questions. Questions lead to heartbreak. Heartbreak leads to another realization as Tommy and Kim's relationship comes full circle.


A/N: There will be no letter discussion. Tommy and Kim are past that and are very close friends. They even work at the same place, though in much different capacities. Neither are single but they definitely aren't with each other. Everything is canon up to, and including, Dino Thunder. All else will be explained within the story.

A/N 2: This is all first-person. Some of it's Kim, some of it's Tommy but the P.O.V. never changes within a scene, and you'll know within the first few paragraphs of each scene whose perspective you're reading.

_"The thing about fate is that it loves to mess up your plans. it comes at you full force when you least expect with something you didn't want at all. Yet somehow, you feel obligated to listen to fate's whispering in your ear."_

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Friday, November 2nd**

**9:30 p.m.**

**The Gig, 11637 West Pico Blvd., Los Angeles, CA**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

They say _The Gig_ is the place to go for up-and-coming musicians who are looking to get discovered. At 28 years old, I'm not trying to get discovered, nor am I "up-and-coming," but _The Gig_ is still my favorite place to play my music. I'm not looking for a record deal or any of that stuff, I just like the feeling of getting up on stage in front of a few hundred people with my acoustic guitar while singing the songs that _I_ wrote.

After competing in the Pan Global's with millions of people watching me, big crowds aren't really my thing anymore. I much prefer the intimate setting of a club like this one. Still, I always get nervous right before I go on stage. It doesn't hurt that I've got my one of my best friends here to support me, though. And even though we aren't together anymore, I still get butterflies every time Tommy comes to watch me.

He's sitting at a table, left of the dance floor, as close to the stage as possible. His girlfriend, Lindsay, is on his right and my kinda-sorta boyfriend, Alex, is sitting across from them. Tommy's looking at me as I sing, smiling the whole time. He's so focused on what I'm doing that I don't think he even notices the questioning looks he's getting from Alex and Lindsay.

It's pretty funny to me, watching that jealous look creep across Lindsay's face. Tommy and I may be best friends, but there's nothing else between us other than that, hasn't been in over a decade. He's told me time and time again how much he loves Lindsay, and I'm really happy for him. She treats him right. After all the crap he's been through in the relationship department, he deserves someone who can make him happy.

The poor guy has had his heart ripped out and stomped on more times than either of us care to count. Disregarding my letter, since that's over and done with, discussed and forgiven, and Katherine leaving him to go to London, Tommy's been broken up with at least a half dozen times. That doesn't sound all that bad when you consider we're both almost thirty, but Tommy always puts his heart and soul into every relationship he gets into. If he has an Achilles' Heel, it's definitely that.

On the flipside, I tend to keep my guard up longer than I probably should. Trini and Aisha tell me all the time that I'll never meet the man of my dreams if I never let anyone in. It's just so damn hard when you've only really let three men in before.

Tommy was the first. He knew everything about me: my wants, my needs, my fears, everything. We all know how that one turned out. Part of me is still kicking myself in the ass for sending him that letter. He's the only man whose had full access to my heart that didn't betray me. Instead, I betrayed him by cheating on him with Brandon.

Ah, yes, Brandon. The infamous "Letter Guy" as he's known in our circle of friends. The bastard dumped me because, at seventeen and having only had sex one time before him, I just wasn't ready to go that far at the time. Jason threatened to rip Brandon's head off when he found out he had been getting his, ahem, physical interaction from someone other than myself.

Obviously, I started seeing Brandon before I broke up with Tommy so I guess, in that sense, turnabout's fair play. By destroying my relationship with Tommy, something so innocent and pure, I learned the hard way that a girl has to keep up those defensive walls.

I dated casually for a few years after that but never let anything get too serious until I met Rick. He was like this collective hodgepodge of all my male friends. He was smart like Billy, could dance like Zack, joked like Rocky, had a body as muscular as Tommy or Jason, and had that comforting smile like Adam's; the one that, no matter how you're feeling at the time, makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Things were pretty much as close to perfect as they could be for almost two years and I was seriously thinking Rick was the guy I was going to end up marrying. Then my mom got sick. I went to France for a couple months to be with her and, when I got home, all his stuff in our apartment was gone. I never got an explanation as to why he left outside of a Post-it note on the fridge telling me that he'd met someone else.

Some days, I think I'm doomed to date nothing but jerks and assholes, like I'm serving some sort of penance for breaking Tommy's heart.

I've only been seeing Alex for a few months and, so far, he seems like a good guy. I haven't slept with him yet, and our relationship is still pretty new and casual but I like him. Enough to introduce him to Tommy, at least. And, from what Tommy's told me, he approves of Alex.

I don't know why, but I value Tommy's opinion more than words can say. Probably because I know he's never steered me wrong before. Hell, I won't even go out with a guy if Tommy doesn't think I should. He's got my best interest at heart, and I know he'd never do anything to hurt me. I'll forever love him for that.

Tommy and I patched everything up at Rocky and Aisha's wedding a few years ago. When he found out I was a bridesmaid and I found out he was a groomsmen, we both decided that it was in our best interest to sit down and clear the air. We talked about everything from who we had dated to what we were doing at the time, and everything in between. We cried a little, laughed a lot, and at the end of it all, agreed that we could still be friends.

Not a day goes by that I don't look back on that fateful day and smile. He's my best friend in every sense of the words. Once again, Tommy knows everything about me and I know everything about him. And I really like that we can be that close without any romantic tension between us.

Don't get me wrong, I still think Tommy's one of the most gorgeous men God put on this earth. I know I'll always be attracted to him, there's no fighting that, especially now that he's changed his look to something so sophisticated and sexy. The way he spikes his hair and that little soul patch he has on his chin…he looks so damn good it's not even fair.

It's kinda weird that we ended up in this place. I stuck to the grain, coaching gymnastics like everyone thought I would. Tommy, on the other hand, went in a completely different direction than what we all expected. Dreams of opening his own dojo were put aside to dig up dinosaur fossils and teach high school kids about them. Well, it was high school kids until a year and a half ago.

Picture, if you will, me walking across the campus of the University of California at Los Angeles, where I coach gymnastics, after three hours of practice. I'm sweaty, tired, and I want nothing more than to get home, pour myself a glass of wine, and sink into a hot bubble bath. Imagine my surprise when I'm crossing the parking lot to my car and see the rearview of Tommy climbing into his Jeep.

He was equally surprised when I yelled for him to stop. He spun around like Goldar was about to attack then looked all around the huge parking lot until he saw me walking towards him. Turns out Tommy had just gotten hired as the Professor of Geology at the same school I coached gymnastics at.

Crazy, huh?

We do all the things that best friends do. We go out to lunch, watch movies at each other's apartments, trade stories of love and love gone bad, everything. When my girls have a home meet, he's always there in the stands. I've even sat in on a couple of his geology classes even though it bores the hell out of me.

When I finish my half-hour set, he's the first one out of his seat, clapping and cheering louder than anyone in the club. I give him an appreciative smile as I take my bow then disappear backstage to put my equipment away. Twenty minutes later, I join them to watch the rest of the musicians for the night.

"You did awesome tonight, Kim," Tommy tells me with a smile that makes my cheeks turn just a little red.

"Thanks," I reply, returning the smile. Then I look at Alex, hoping he'll throw a compliment or two my way, but he looks lost staring at the cleavage of our waitress. Even Lindsay has to shake her head as I clear my throat to get his attention. "What'd you think, Alex?"

"Huh?" It takes him a few seconds before he shifts his attention to me, finally realizing that I was talking to him. "Oh, it was, uh, great."

"What was your favorite song?" I ask him.

This is bullshit. I looked away for like, five seconds to take a drink of my margarita and he's already staring at Boobs McHugetits again. Tommy gives me an apologetic smile but I can only roll my eyes and shake my head at the situation.

I guess I really am doomed.

Okay, I know he's a guy and that guys are immediately attracted when they see a huge rack like the one our waitress is showing off, but couldn't he at least pretend like he was interested in something other than boobs?

Eventually, Tommy manages to get Alex back into the conversation by asking him if he caught the Lakers game the night before. While the boys talk sports, I actually manage to get in a decent little talk with Lindsay. She gushes over how much she loves Tommy, and I know he heard 'cause he got that smile on his face like he always does when he knows he's done something right. Good for him. I'm happy, I'm glad, I'm…

Holy shit, I think I'm jealous.

But…I can't be jealous of…of Tommy, can I? I mean, we're best friends for crying out loud! I should be happy for him, not wishing it was me on the dance floor in his arms right now instead of Lindsay. Instead, I'm stuck with a guy who looks like a lost puppy dog every time a pair of boobs walks by.

There is absolutely zero conversation between Alex and I for almost half-an-hour. In that time, I managed to go through three margaritas and the rest of Tommy's Corona that he left behind to go dance with that whore…I mean, wonderful woman.

"Hey Kim, you wanna go somewhere a little more quiet?"

I'm more than a little perturbed when Alex brushes his hand over the inside of my thigh. If he thinks he's getting anything from me after that little charade, he's sorely mistaken. I'm no prude, but if you can't even look at me when I'm trying to talk to you, you can just enjoy Palmela Handerson and her five friends for all I care.

Maybe it's because I've slurred a few words thanks to my consumption of too many adult beverages in too short of a time frame that tipped him off to the fact that I'm more than a little tipsy.

_Not tipsy enough to go home with you though, bucko!_

My inner-feminist roars with approval.

"Umm, no thanks," I mutter. I lift his hand from where it was resting, a little too close to a place he's probably never going to see and give him my best fake-polite smile. "Excuse me for a moment. I need to go use the restroom."

I don't even give him a chance to respond before I'm out of my seat with my purse in hand. Instead of going to the bathroom like I said I was, I find a dark corner where Alex can't see me and pull out my cell phone. My eyes are trained on Tommy and Lindsay as my fingers dial a number I memorized years and years ago.

"Kimmie!" Trini's familiar voice brings a smile to my face. A real smile, not the fake kind like the one I just gave Alex. Hearing her voice is just…soothing. She knows me about as well as Tommy does so it doesn't surprise me when, after a few moments where I don't reply, she asks, "Are you okay?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. You know, just got done with my set at _The Gig_ and now I'm watching Tommy bump and grind with his girlfriend because my date can't keep his eyes off of other women," I supply, shaking my head. "Stupid fucking asshole."

"Your date or Tommy?" Trini asks instinctively. Most of the time, she's one of my best friends but, right now, damn her for knowing me so well!

"Both of them," I grumble, eliciting a laugh from my former yellow counterpart.

"Now, now, Kimmie. You can't be mad at Tommy," Trini chides. "I can fully understand you being mad at your date but Tommy hasn't done anything wrong unless I missed the memo that says dancing with your girlfriend is a crime."

"I…"

There's nothing for me to say. Trini's right, of course. I have no right to be even a little bit mad at Tommy, though at this moment, I wish that memo really did exist. At least then I'd have an excuse for feeling the way I do.

"You miss him don't you?" Trini decides to push the issue. I just roll my eyes and let out a breath I didn't realize that I was holding in.

"I-I don't know, Tri," I tell her, slouching against the brick wall. Looking at Tommy and Lindsay, seeing them so happy together hurts. "Most of the time I don't get like this around Tommy but the last few times I've seen him with Lindsay it just…"

"Hurts?"

I nod my head even though I know Trini can't see me. "Yeah, and I don't know why. I mean, I got over Tommy a long time ago but I can't help but feel a little bit jealous when I see him with her."

"I think you still care about him and you're afraid of admitting what that means because, for the first time in a long time, Tommy's actually found someone other than you that really makes him happy. You're so used to being that person that you don't know how to react when you see him happy with someone else."

"Since when did you become a psychiatrist?" I ask, chuckling lightly even as I blink back a few tears.

Where did those come from? I should _not_ be crying right now, dammit! I'm supposed to be a strong, independent, successful woman that doesn't need a man to make her happy. So then why do I feel like absolute shit watching them?

"Well, the certificate in my office says May 27, 2001," Trini replies, knowing she'll get a laugh out of me for that one. "But I'd like to think I've been providing my psychiatric services to you long before I actually got my doctorate."

"Trini?" I sigh.

"Yeah, Kim?"

"I love him."

"I know you do, sweetie. I know you do," Trini says softly.

I can practically hear her shaking her head at me right now. Never in a million years did I think I'd hear myself saying those words again. Maybe it's just the alcohol talking. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow morning and this will all just go away.

I doubt it.

"What does this mean, Trini?"

"Unfortunately, it doesn't really mean much of anything, sweetie. Tommy's in love with another woman and I know you're no home wrecker. I know it sucks, but you just have to push those feelings aside and believe that, if it's meant to happen, it'll happen."

"Trini, this wasn't supposed to happen in the first place!" I whine.

The people around me are now officially staring at me. If I was one of them, I'd probably be staring at me, too. It's kinda hard not to stare when I'm standing there whining at Trini over the phone with tears streaming down my face. So, instead of being made a spectacle of, I decide that the outside of the club is probably the best place to continue this conversation.

I don't think Alex even notices me leave.

"That's love, Kim. Sometimes it's the greatest thing in the world and sometimes it just kicks you in the ass. I mean, look at me," Trini starts. Here comes the Jason speech in 3-2-1. "I went through high school and the peace conference loving Jason with all my heart and he never even looked twice in my direction but now look at us."

"Yeah, yeah, he finally admitted he loved you and now you guys are engaged, yadda-yadda, I've heard it all before."

"Kim…" She's reprimanding me without actually doing it.

"I know. I'm sorry, Tri. You know I don't mean that. I'm really happy for you and Jason. You guys deserve each other. It just sucks when all my friends are happy and in love but I'm not, you know?"

"Hey, look on the bright side, Pinkie. You've got the 'in love' part nailed down so you're already halfway there. Now, all that you have left to worry about is the being happy part."

"Trini?"

"Yeah?"

"I hate you."

The sarcasm is evident in my voice. I love Trini with all my heart and she knows that. But I do seriously hate the fact that everyone in our circle of friends is in love but me. Trini and Jason have each other, Billy and Kat found love, Adam finally got up the courage to go after Tanya, Rocky and 'Sha are married, Zack's engaged to a woman named Jennifer, and Tommy's got Lindsay.

Yep, life's just peachy right now.

"You gonna be okay, Kim?"

I don't know, Trini. You tell me. I just confessed my love to a man I have no business being in love with. That ship sailed a long time ago because I was a stupid, immature little girl, living in a strange place who didn't know what she wanted. So, tell me. Am I gonna be okay?

Of course, I don't say that no matter how much I wanted to. There's no point in getting angry over something that I have no control of. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and let it out loud enough so that I know Trini can hear it.

"Yeah, I'll be okay…eventually."

"Kim?"

"Yeah, Tri?"

"I love you."

"I know you do. I love you, too. Thanks for the talk and make sure that you give Jason my love, too."

"I will, sweetie," Trini replies. "Take care of yourself and don't do anything impulsive that you'll end up regretting, okay?"

"Don't worry, I won't," I promise, managing a small smile when Trini chuckles. "I'll talk to you later, Tri."

"Bye, Kim."

Sighing, I drop my phone in my purse and flag down a cab. I'm sure Tommy will probably call me in the next hour or so when he realizes I'm gone but I really don't think I can handle talking to him tonight when I'm this emotional so, as I tell the driver where I'm going, I turn my phone off.

I've got a lot of things going through my head right now and I think it's probably for the best if I don't talk to Tommy until I've sorted everything out. Once again, love decides to kick Kimberly Hart in the ass.

This sucks.

Kim out.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Monday, November 19th**

**10:45 a.m.**

**Geology Building, Room 3645, UCLA**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

At least here the kids are interested in what I'm teaching to them. In that respect, being a college professor is definitely a lot different than teaching high school science. The forty-five students in the lecture hall are here by choice, not because they need to take a science class to fulfill graduation requirements.

The lights are off and I'm going through another one of my Power Point lectures, showing my students various fossils of prehistoric mammals, fish, reptiles, amphibians, insects, and birds, asking them to identify them by their scientific name as they appear on the screen. They've got their final exam coming up in a few weeks and, unlike most professors, I genuinely care about the success of my students and want to make sure that they're prepared.

I really love this job but, there are times when I find myself missing Reefside. I miss my house, I miss the Cyberspace Café, I miss Hayley, I miss my basement and being able to go down there and peruse through the history of the Rangers that came before and after me. Since I don't have room for all those boxes in my apartment, Hayley has them now. If nothing else, I know they're in good hands.

A pterodactyl fossil appears on the screen and I freeze for a moment, thinking about two very special females in my life. I talked to Kira the other day. She's on a music scholarship at Surfside University. She and Conner are getting pretty serious from what she told me when we last spoke. I'm happy for the both of them. They're both great kids and it's good to know that I had a positive effect on their lives.

Unfortunately, I don't have half a clue what's going on with Kim. We haven't spoken since that night at _The Gig_ a couple weeks back. I saw her walk off to make a phone call but she never came back and she hasn't returned any of my calls since. Under normal circumstances, I'd be worried about her but Jason told me that Trini talked to her and that Kim just needed some time to herself, to figure things out; whatever that means.

Once the pterodactyl has been identified, I switch slides as quickly as I can to a picture of a prehistoric amphibian. Seeing that old bird just makes me think of Kim and whether or not she's really okay.

"And what's this ugly little guy?" I ask my class, getting a few laughs. One of my brighter students, seated in the second row, raises her hand. Without thinking, I point to her using my laser pointer and flash her right in the eye. "Oh, man. I'm sorry about that, Sabrina. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she replies, blinking her eyes rapidly. She gives me a smile that's borderline flirtatious when she sees me blushing embarrassingly. After a few moments of waiting for the laughter in the classroom to die down, she answers my question. "That's a Peltobatrachus, right?"

"Very good, Sabrina," I tell her, giving her a polite head nod before looking around the rest of the room. "Can someone tell me what's special about this particular amphibian and how it defended itself against predators?"

Another hand, this one coming from the middle, shoots up. When Ethan James dramatically ducks down after I point to him, I have no choice but to laugh right along with the rest of my class.

Ethan's pretty much my last tie to Reefside, even though neither of us live there anymore. We all pegged him to do something in computers and, for awhile, he did, attending MIT for almost two years. He surprised me by showing up to my class the first day of this semester, asking if I had enough room to add an extra student and he's been there ever since. Turns out I rubbed off on him more than I thought I had.

"The Peltobatrachus is a terrestrial amphibian, meaning the only time it went into water was to lay its' eggs," Ethan answers after coming back up from his hiding place with a wide grin on his face. "It protected itself with an armored plating around its' body, just like an armadillo."

I nod approvingly and then go to change the slide when I hear the door at the top of the steps click open. Turning my head, I drop my laser pointer when Kim walks right in and takes an empty seat in the top row. Apparently, my entire class saw my flustered reaction because they're all laughing at me again.

But their laughter is only background noise to what's really going on.

I've always been able to read Kim like a book and, right now, she looks sadder than I've seen her look in a long time. It's without even a little bit of hesitation that I go to the next slide, have one of my students identify the Dire Wolf, and then dismiss them for the day. Once they're all gone, Kim's running down the stairs and throwing herself into my arms before I even have time to ask her what's going on.

"He-he-he…he broke up with me," Kim sobs as I hold her tightly to my chest. "Can you believe that-that-that-that…" She pauses and I know she's trying to find something really nasty to say. "_Fucking asshole jerkoff bastard_ actually had the nerve to break up with _me_?"

Well…I can't say that I was expecting or prepared for "fucking asshole jerkoff bastard" to come out of Kim's mouth. I have to fight a smile from creeping across my lips when she says that. She really outdid herself with that one.

"Alex?" I ask rhetorically. Kim just sniffles and nods her head. She's clinging to my shirt like she's a survivor on the Titanic and my shirt's the last lifejacket. "You wanna talk about what happened?"

Wiping her face, Kim nodded again. "That night at the club after I got done playing…"

"When Alex couldn't keep his eyes off our waitress and every other woman in the place?"

"Yeah. I was so mad at him that night that I just left. I felt so disrespected and I seriously didn't want to ever see him again after all that shit happened," Kim starts. Not only can I feel her shaking in my arms but I can feel my heart breaking for her. "Anyway, he came by my apartment a couple days later with roses and a bottle of wine and apologized. I accepted his apology and that's as far as I was willing to go. Then, next thing I know, we're both drunk and we're-we're…"

"Shhh, it's okay, Beautiful. I get the picture," I say as soothingly as possible. Piece by piece my heart breaks. I love Kim as much as a man can love a woman he's not involved romantically with. It's tearing me up inside to see her like this. "What led to him breaking up with you?"

"I don't know. I thought things were actually going good. I'd only seen him a couple times since that night and he never pressured me for sex or anything like that," Kim replies. I've got this feeling in my stomach like the next thing she says is gonna be something that's going to make me want to beat the holy hell out of Alex. "I slept with him one more time last Friday, three nights ago. He called me yesterday and told me he didn't want to see me anymore. When I asked him why, he said it was because I couldn't satisfy him in bed the way he needed me to."

Ten deep breaths, Oliver, before you fly off the hinges and murder that fucking asshole jerkoff bastard. My arms are still wrapped around Kim and I have to clench my fists to stop myself from putting them right through my whiteboard.

"God, Tommy. He used me and I fucking _let him_!" Kim continues, resting her head on my chest. I flinch just a little when she says that but not enough for her to notice. "I feel like such a whore."

Without warning I push Kim back, grab her by the shoulders, and make her look at me. I think I startled her because she looks scared but I really don't care. "Don't you ever say that, Kim. Do you understand me?" I demand, ignoring the frightened look in Kim's eyes. "You are not a whore. You are an amazing, beautiful, smart, talented, independent woman. Don't let anyone ever tell you differently, either."

"Okay, so I'm not a whore," Kim sniffles, wiping her nose with a Kleenex she grabbed off of my desk. "But, apparently, I suck in bed."

I just shake my head and laugh. "I actually seem to have pretty fond memories of you in bed. Bad definitely isn't a word I'd ever use to describe you."

Kim rolls her eyes at me. "Tommy, we were in high school and it was just one time at Christmas. Hell, neither of us really even knew what we were doing. You can't say something like that after one time."

"Yes, I can. Even though I didn't have half a clue of what to do outside of what I learned in Sex. Ed. and a few of my dad's magazines," I wink at her and get a smile which is progress, indeed. "My first time was still my best time because it was with you. Not a day goes by that I don't wish things had turned out differently for us."

Okay, probably not the best thing to say right then, but I'm Tommy Oliver. I'm a soldier, not a thinker. She's still smiling though, so I guess I didn't push any buttons that shouldn't have been pushed by saying that.

"I'm sorry, Tommy."

"Kim, you don't have anything to be sorry for. We were kids and kids break up all the time. Besides, I thought we put all that letter stuff behind us and made a promise not to talk about it ever again."

"I'm not apologizing for the letter," she says which surprises me considering I can't think of anything else that's happened between us that would require an apology. Maybe she thinks she needs to apologize for the fact that she hasn't returned any of my calls these past two weeks but, if that's the case, I'll quickly put those feelings to rest. I can tell just by looking at her that she hasn't been in a good place to talk recently.

"Then what are you apologi-"

She doesn't even give me a chance to finish my question. One second I'm standing there talking to her and then, the next thing I know, she's kissing me. Hard.

I don't know how I'm supposed to react to this. I certainly wasn't prepared for it so I end up doing the only thing that feels natural. My arms wrap themselves around her waist and I start to reciprocate the kiss.

It could have been only a few seconds or it could have been a lot longer. My mind stopped functioning the moment her lips met mine. I'm fully prepared to accept all the consequences of this impromptu meeting of the lips until, for just the briefest of moments, Lindsay pops into my head.

"Kim," I gasp, out of breath after I finally manage to pry my lips away from hers. Almost immediately, I miss the taste of the strawberry lip gloss she's been wearing since we were in high school. "We can't do this. I…_I_ can't do this."

"Why the hell not? You seemed pretty content there a few seconds ago?" Kim demands, hands on her hips. She takes one look in my eyes and knows the answer. My eyes have always given me away. "Let me guess. Lindsay?"

I push myself back so that I'm sitting on my desk and nod my head before burying my face in my hands. I don't even have the courage to look at Kim when I answer her. "I love her, Kim. Part of me just wants to say fuck it and throw inhibition to the wind but I love Lindsay too much to do that. I'm sorry, but I can't cheat on my girlfriend. I _won't_ cheat on my girlfriend."

"I see," Kim replies, shaking her head at me. "Bye, Tommy."

She turns to walk away and gets halfway up the stairs when I open my mouth to stop her. I want to explain things to her, to at least try and see if things can still be normal between us but, before I can say anything, my phone starts vibrating against my leg. I look down at the Caller ID, see that it's Lindsay, and return it to my pocket. When I look back up to where Kim was just standing, she's gone.

"Good going, Oliver," I mutter to myself, looking at the ground as I shake my head back and forth. "What in the hell kind of crazy shit have you gone and gotten yourself into this time?"

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

**Saturday, December 1st**

**12:30 p.m.**

**Glendale Galleria, Los Angeles, CA**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Can someone please explain to me why I'm here right now, because I sure as hell don't have a freaking clue. All I know is that Tommy called me up the other day, asked me to help him go Christmas shopping, and I said yes.

Guess I just answered my own question, huh?

But I still don't know why Tommy wants me to help him. He just said he needed help picking up something special for Lindsay and thought I could be of assistance seeing as how I'm a female and all.

Dammit, I did it again!

We're walking through the mall and I'm trying my best not to make eye contact with Tommy. We hadn't even talked after my little slipup in his classroom until he called me two days ago asking me to do this with him.

There's tension in the air that shouldn't be there. I haven't felt this uncomfortable being around Tommy since right after the Murianthis incident when the wounds from our breakup were still pretty fresh in his mind. I hate this feeling so much. And the worst part of it all is that it could have been avoided if I had just listened to Trini.

She told me not to do something impulsive that I would end up regretting. Of course, being me, I didn't listen. Now my friendship with Tommy is suffering because of it and it pretty much sucks.

I've been mentally--and physically, once or twice--kicking myself these last few weeks for making things this way. I just want everything to go back to normal, to the way things were before I messed everything up. I miss not being able to talk to him, hug him. Hell, I even miss him teasing me for being short and me teasing him for having a memory that resembles Swiss cheese.

Tommy seems awkwardly distant and I get the feeling that there's an underlying reason for why he brought me here with him. His eyes have always given him away and one look in them tells me he's on the verge of either exploding or having a complete emotional breakdown.

Hey, Monty? Is there a Door Number Three 'cause I'm not really too fond of the options behind Doors One and Two. Sorry. Bad _Let's Make a Deal_ reference.

He hasn't said much to me outside of a "hello" and a "how are you doing?" so I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do when he leads me into a Helzberg Diamonds store. I can do clothes, or CD's, or movies, whatever; but if he thinks I'm gonna help him pick out jewelry for his women, he's got another thing coming.

"Tommy, I really don't think I should be helping you pick out jewelry for your girlfriend," I tell him.

"Who said I was shopping for Lindsay?" he fires back.

Okay, what the hell is going on? I feel like I just walked into a really bad episode of _The Twilight Zone_. He freaking _told me_ he wanted me to help him Christmas shop for Lindsay. I think I might be losing it…

The grin on his face when he looks at me and shrugs his shoulders puts me right into confusion mode. I've been here before. Kim no like confusion mode. Bad things happen when I go there. I start asking a bunch of questions and, more often than not, end up inserting my foot right into my mouth.

"Who are you shopping for then?"

"My mom," Tommy supplies, grinning at me the whole time.

I swear to God, I don't understand this man sometimes. Like, why couldn't he have just told me he was shopping for his mom instead of Lindsay? I'd have been much more willing to go if I knew we were doing this for Janet.

Still, I find myself shaking my head and following Tommy to where he's standing looking at a glass case full of lockets. He smiles at me when I step to his side and points at one. It's beautiful; heart shaped, and probably white gold by the look of it.

"What do you think of that one?" he asks.

"I think it's gorgeous and that your mom would love it," I reply.

He winks at me and nods his head then calls for one of the salesman to pull it out for him. Confusion mode becomes surprised mode with what happens next. I have to take a deep breath and a step back when he asks me to try it on.

"Why?"

"Because you and my mom are about the same size. I figure if it looks good on you than it'll most likely look good on my mom. I don't want to spend three-hundred bucks on it if she's not gonna wear it."

"Umm, okay, I guess."

I'm in love with this beautiful piece of jewelry the moment that he pulls my hair up and clasps it shut around my neck. Once it's locked in place, Tommy's hands lightly graze my shoulders sending shivers up and down my spine. Even the softest of touches from the man I love so much creates butterflies in my stomach.

I'd throw myself at him right here in front of everyone if I thought he'd be receptive to it. But we all saw what happened the last time I did that. Things didn't really turn out so well and I ended up pretty much making a fool out of myself. I won't let that happen again.

"Take it off, Tommy," I demand.

"What? Why?" he asks.

"Because I don't have time to sit here and be your mannequin while you lie to me and tell me this is for your mom when you and I both know it's for your stupid girlfriend, you fucking asshole!"

That's what I want to say, but I bite my tongue. Creating more drama and more tension between myself and Tommy is a path I'm not interested in walking down ever again.

"Just, please. Take it off, Tommy."

Thankfully, he gets the message and doesn't argue any further. I'm gone and out the door the moment he takes it off of me. I don't care if he buys it or not, I just can't be a part of this game any longer. That's all it is; a game.

It's a good fifteen minutes later when Tommy finds me sitting in the food court nursing a smoothie from Jamba Juice. He slides into the seat across from me acting like nothing's the matter. And when he pulls out a little red box I just about dump my smoothie right on his head.

"What do you think?" he asks after opening it.

It's not the same one he had me try on…weird. It's practically the same design but this one is yellow gold instead of white gold. I wish I could be mature about this whole situation but I really feel like I've been played right now.

"Kim?" he presses on when I don't answer him.

"It's nice," I mutter, turning my head away from him.

"You didn't even look at it," he replies. I feel him take my hand but I yank it out of his grasp almost immediately.

"Why should I, Tommy? Huh? Why should I look at the gift your gonna give to your girlfriend? That's all this is. You just wanted to bring me here to make fun of me after what happened in your classroom, right? Well, mission accomplished, okay?"

"Kim, I-" Tommy sputters. "It's really for my mom, look."

He takes it out of the box and holds it up so I can see it. I feel like a complete and total bitch the moment that I read the inscription on the back that says _Merry Christmas Mom. Love, Tommy._

"I-I'm sorry," I tell him, shaking my head apologetically. "I just…I thought…"

"I know what you thought. I pretty much figured it out when you told me to take the other one off of you back in the store. I'm sorry if I made you feel like I was playing you but I really did need your help. And, when I saw the way your eyes lit up, I knew my mom would love it. She's just always been more of a yellow gold person than a white gold."

"Tommy, I'm so sorry for snapping at you like that. You must think I'm a total bitch right now, huh?"

The laugh and smile Tommy gives me tells me that he thinks no such thing. He reaches out for my hands again and, this time, I let him take them.

"Tell you what," he starts. "If you forgive me for thinking you're a bitch, I'll forgive you for thinking I'm a dick. How's that sound to you?"

"Deal." We shake on it and all is forgiven.

Tommy disappears after our truce and comes back a few minutes later with a tray from Steak Escape. I think I hate him again. He knows how much I love French fries and he's eating them in a way that he knows does nothing more than tease me. Dunking one right in his little paper cup of ketchup, he raises it to his lips and eats it like he's trying to be sexy with it.

"You're an ass," I grumble. He just laughs and does it again. And again. And again. And… "That's it. Gimme those!" I reach across the table and grab a handful of fries, drench them in ketchup then stuff them in my mouth in a most unladylike fashion which does nothing more than making Tommy laugh even harder.

"Satisfied?"

"Very," I answer with a mouth full of deep-fried potatoes and ketchup.

It's at that very moment that I realize part of why I love Tommy so much. I can do things around him that I could never do around another guy. Well, I could probably get away with it if it was the other male Rangers but I'm not interested in them the way I'm interested in Tommy. He lets me be myself and never judges me for it.

If only I could find a guy like that who was actually interested in me, too.

Letting out a sigh, I start twisting my hair around my fingers. Tommy stops eating as soon as he sees me doing this because he knows I only twist my hair when I'm really nervous. He sits back in his chair, letting me know that I have his full attention.

Put that up as another reason why I love him. He knows when it's time to joke and when it's time to get serious. And, right now, it's time to get serious. I've got something I need to tell him whether he wants to hear it or not.

"Tommy, I-I want to apologize for what happened in your classroom. I was out of line and I had no business kissing you like that. It was unacceptable, especially considering your commitment to Lindsay. I'm really, truly sorry for doing that and I hope you can forgive me."

He nods and smiles at me. "I was never mad at you in the first place, Kim. Look, I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you and tell you that I didn't enjoy the kiss because, the truth is, I did. Part of the reason I stopped it before it went any farther is because I enjoyed it so much. Too much. I love Lindsay and she's never done anything to make me question how I feel about her. I just…I can't betray her like that. I know firsthand how it feels to be on the receiving end of that situation and I could never put that kind of pain on someone, especially not someone that I love."

His words hold a double meaning and he knows it. In Tommy's own subtle way, he's telling me that he can't do to Lindsay what I did to him. It sucks but the truth hurts sometimes…most of the time…all the time.

I wish things didn't have to be this way between us. It was so much easier when we were both content with friendship. Now, I want more from him and he doesn't want the same thing from me. We've been in this situation before when I wrote him that letter and told him I still wanted to be friends.

But the differences between us lie in the fact that I refuse to live a life without Tommy in it, even if that means I have to deal with being just his friend. That's how much having him in my life means to me.

"I understand. And look, I don't expect you to feel the same way as I do, Tommy but there's something I need to tell you. I don't know when I started feeling this way, but…" I start twiddling my thumbs now. I've gone from Confusion Mode to Surprise Mode and now I'm in Nervously Terrified Mode. It takes a few silent moments of me stalling before I can muster up the courage to just tell him. "I think I'm falling in love with you again. There, I said it. Now you know why I kissed you like I did."

Tommy looks just as confused about this whole situation as I do. I twist my hair when I'm nervous. Tommy runs his hand through his and rubs the back of his neck. He's alternating between doing both right now.

"Kim, I-I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything, Tommy," I reassure him with a wave of my hand. "It would be too perfect if you felt the same way and, like I said, I don't expect you to feel the same way I do. I just couldn't keep it bottled up inside me anymore. I had to get it off my chest before I went nuts."

"I-I want you to know something, too, Kim," Tommy tells me, shaking his head slowly. "You are, by far, the most important person in my life; even more than Lindsay. She doesn't know half the stuff about me that you do. I'll never even be able to share some of the greatest memories of my life with her. That eats at me every day."

I know exactly how he feels. Being a Ranger is something we all hold dear to our hearts. We both know that those who found love within the Ranger circle are the lucky ones because they'll never have to hide anything from their significant others.

"But I love Lindsay, even if I can't share that stuff with her. She's been there for me through a lot of shit and she's made me feel like I can love someone without worrying about getting my heart broken," he continues. Yep, the truth definitely hurts. "Look, Kim. You were my first real love and there's a big part of me that will always love you because of that but, right now, I'm _in love_ with Lindsay and I can't make myself fall out of love. I just want you to know that, no matter who we're with or what we're doing, I'll always be there for you and I'll always love you even if it's not in the way you want me to."

My vision's blurred with tears. I can't even see Tommy's hand but I can feel it gently wiping away the tears trickling their way down my face. Grabbing his wrist, I guide his open palm so that it rubs my cheek.

"I understand, Tommy."

He stands up and opens his arms wide, inviting me into his offered embrace. I'm out of my seat and hugging him tightly before I can even think about it. I feel so safe in his arms, my head tucked under his chin. Then he asks me the one question I know the answer to but didn't want to hear. "Friends?"

Sniffling, I give him a soft nod then rest the side of my head against his chest. I can feel his heart beating faster than normal, betraying his words which only makes me sigh.

"Always, Tommy. Always."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Friday, December 14th**

**8:30 p.m.**

**Finn McCool's Irish Pub, 2700 Main Street, Santa Monica, CA**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

I'm pretty sure Finn McCool's is the coolest place I've ever been to, no pun intended. On a scale of 1-10 for the amount of Irish I have in me, ten being the highest, I clock in at a whopping negative three but I feel like I was born and raised in Dublin when I come here. The people who work the place treat you like family no matter what your heritage or skin color is.

Half the stuff on the wall is written in Gaelic but it still looks cool even though I can't read it. I don't think you could find a more traditionally Irish place anywhere in California. At least that's what Jason tells me and he's a quarter Irish. Seeing as how I don't know anyone else with more Irish blood, I have to take him at his word.

Usually, when I want to go out with my bro and throw back a few brews, we just go somewhere in L.A. McCool's is pretty much reserved for special occasions only. And tonight's a special occasion because I need to get things straight in my head and figure out just what in the hell is going on in my life.

These last two weeks give new meaning to the word "nuts." Ever since Kim told me how she felt about me at the mall, I haven't been able to get her out of my head. Between struggling to sort out how I feel about her, finishing up this semester at UCLA, and trying not to fuck things up with Lindsay in the process, life's been hectic to say the least.

Jason and I don't really get to spend time together as often as we'd like. Because of that, we both try to not bring any drama when we get do get to hang out so I feel kind of bad about dragging him into the middle of this but I need him. He's been the one rock outside of my parents that I've always been able to depend on. The other Rangers came and went but Jason's always been a staple in my life.

Even when he was in Switzerland, we never hesitated to call each other when things got rough. The phone bill pissed my parents off on quite a few occasions but it was out of my control. I've never been able to share things with the others the way I could with Jason and Kim. He's my best friend, my brother, and so much more.

My emotions are so twisted right now that it's not even funny and he knows it. We've been here for almost an hour and we've barely spoken. Whenever that happens to one of us, the other one knows it's only a matter of time before the floodgates open up. I can tell just by looking at him that he's trying to prepare himself for whatever craziness I'll end up throwing his way tonight.

"So are you just gonna sit there and stew or are you gonna tell me what's bugging you?" Jason asks instinctively as he picks at the crab cakes in front of him.

"Why do they spell appetizers with an 's' instead of a 'z' like normal?"

He knows I'm trying to avoid telling him what's bothering me. I'll end up talking eventually but I always do this little dance around spilling my guts before I actually open up. I don't know why because I know I can trust Jason with anything. It's just something I've always done that I've never been able to explain.

"Because they speak and write English-English in Ireland not American-English," Jason explains, rolling his eyes at me for asking him that. "Just come out and say it already, bro. There's no point in avoiding it when we both know you're gonna end up spilling it all here sooner or later."

"That's crazy, man. Two kinds of English?" I let out a low whistle which only pisses Jason off more. "Why do they speak a different kind of English than we do? That's so weird. Don't you think so?"

"That's it, bro. I can't deal with this shit anymore. I'm outta here," Jason tells me.

He looks pretty angry right now. After getting out of his chair and tossing a few bills on the table, he's walking away when I decide to tell him. "It's Kim."

As soon as her name comes out of my mouth, Jason freezes on the spot. Sighing, he closes his eyes, nods his head knowingly, and returns to his seat. "I had a feeling you were gonna say that. What's going on this time?"

"We were at the mall the other day and she…she told me she loves me, man."

Absentmindedly, I pick at the gigantic onion rings on my plate but don't eat any while Jason mulls that one over in his head. "What exactly is the problem with that, bro?"

"I think I love her, too."

Jason furrows his brow and stares at me for a moment then takes a big swig from his glass of Guinness. "I still don't see what the problem is."

"Lindsay, man. Lindsay's the problem. I really love her but when Kim told me that she loved me, all these old emotions started coming back and, the more I see her and spend time with her, the more I think I'm falling back in love with her, too."

"I don't think you can fall back in love with someone when you never fell out of love with them in the first place," Jason supplies. Now it's my turn to stare at him. "Oh, come on, Tommy. Don't give me that look. We both know you never really stopped loving Kim. You might have thought you stopped loving her after she broke up with you and all that, but you and I both know the truth, bro."

"That's the problem, Jase. I know I haven't really gotten over Kim and I probably never will. Part of me will always love her but that's just because she's my first love. I haven't been pining for her all these years. Fate just threw her back into my life and I've been rolling with the punches ever since. I'm supposed to love Lindsay, not Kim."

He huffs and shakes his head at me. "Why do you love Lindsay, Tommy?"

"I-I don't know, man. I honestly don't know," I reply, shaking my head. My shoulders deflate as if all the life in my body has just been completely sucked out of me. "She's a really great girl. She's sweet, she's pretty, she's caring, smart, funny. She's everything I want in a woman. And she's never given me a reason not to love her."

"Sounds a lot like Katherine, if you ask me."

He just hit the nail on the head with that one.

Like Kim, Kat will always have a special place in my heart. She put the pieces of my heart back together when Kim broke it with her letter. I ended up staying with Kat for a long time because I felt like I _had_ to love her. Kat, like Lindsay, never gave me a reason not to love her. At least not until she broke up with me to move to London, that is. But still…

"When did you become a fucking psychiatrist?"

"I'm not," Jason shrugs with a laugh. "Trini just rubbed off on me, I guess."

"Yeah, well maybe I should be talking to the professional instead of the quack who just _thinks_ he knows what he's talking about," I fire back with a laugh of my own.

"Tommy? Shut the fuck up," Jason replies. We're both laughing now. This feels good. For the first time in the last two weeks, I'm actually kind of enjoying myself. "You and I both know what you _should_ do. It's just a matter of what you actually _do_ do that's important here."

"You think I should break up with Lindsay and get back together with Kim?"

"Bro, I can't tell you what to do. That's gotta come from in here," Jason says, pointing to his heart. "All I know is that you've got a choice to make and, one way or another, you're gonna end up hurting someone you care about."

"You make it sound so simple," I mutter sarcastically.

"Look man, I know you're dealing with a lot of shit right now and I know that this whole situation pretty much sucks…"

"That's an understatement," I interject, cutting Jason off.

"Don't give me that 'poor me' shit, Tommy. I was there once too, you know. It wasn't easy having to choose between Emily and Trini, either. But I made my choice and I can honestly say that I've never been happier than when I'm with Trini. So, tell me something. Who makes you happier; Kim or Lindsay?"

That's actually a question that I've given a lot of thought to these past couple of weeks. I came to the true answer the first night I asked myself that question but, for some reason, it doesn't seem like it's the right one.

"Honestly?" I ask, getting a nod from Jason. "Kim, hands down. There's just something about her I can't even begin to try and explain that makes life seem so much easier when I'm with her, you know?"

"Yeah, bro, I do. I really do," Jason answers. I know he's telling me the truth. We spent many a night talking on the phone when he was in my spot a few years back, trying to decide whether he should follow his heart to Trini or his head to Emily. That's where I am, now. My heart says Kim buy my head says Lindsay. "So, what are you gonna do, man?"

This situation just isn't a fair one. I'm not a heartbreaker. I've never been that guy before so being stuck in this crap-hole of a predicament is a completely new feeling to me. I didn't know what it felt like to be torn between two amazing women until very recently and, let me tell you, it sucks. It sucks a big one.

I've got so many options to weigh, it's ridiculous.

On one hand, I've got Lindsay who's been there for me for a long time. She's never lied to me, betrayed my trust, or hurt me in any way. Lindsay is the woman that I know I _should_ be in love with. But if I'm honest with myself, I've slowly been pulling away from her since that day with Kim at the mall.

And if I'm _really_ honest with myself, I'm more afraid of loving Kim than anything else I've ever done before which seems pretty silly to me considering I've fought crazy ass monsters, gone to different planets all across the universe, piloted huge Zords, and almost killed my closest friends on more than just one occasion. It scares me to know that she's already hurt me once and the possibility of her doing it again is still a very real one.

They're both such great girls. I feel like I should be happy and excited to be in this kind of situation but the fact of the matter is that it's slowly tearing me up inside. I don't like hurting people, especially not people I love and care about as much as Kimberly and Lindsay.

What it really boils down to is the fact that I lived over twenty-six years without having Lindsay in my life and did just fine. But that five year period in time where I didn't even talk to Kim was one of the hardest times in my life. I've experienced what it's like to live a life without her in it and it sucks.

I think I can live my life without Lindsay. I know I can't live without Kim.

But I've still got a lot of stuff to sort out in my head before I make any kind of decision regarding where my heart truly lies. Sighing, I shake my head then look up at my best friend, the man who knows me better than I know myself.

"I don't know, Jase. I honestly don't have a clue."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Tuesday, January 17th**

**1:15 p.m.**

**Pegasus Apartment Building, Apartment 344, Los Angeles, CA**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

I don't think Kim and I are going to ever be able to go back to just being friends again. Every time I'm around her there's just this overlaying feel of tension in the air, like we both want to do something but are afraid of the repercussions.

And it's all because of Lindsay.

About a week after my chat with Jason at McCool's, I decided to call things off with her. Not because I wanted to get back with Kim, but because I came to the conclusion that it wasn't fair to her to be stuck in the middle of my inability to make up my mind. Then, just when I finally worked up the courage to do it, she surprised me by taking me to see one of my favorite bands, System of a Down, for my birthday. She went out of her way to get floor seats and backstage passes, and it was such a sweet gesture that, after that, I just lost my nerve.

I'm stuck in a whirling dervish of shit and I don't know how to get myself out of it. Jason's been on me for weeks and I've been beating myself up about the whole thing day and night for just as long. I feel like such an ass. I don't wish this situation on anyone.

So, I've pretty much decided that breaking things off with Lindsay isn't an option. I love my parents to death but they engrained in me a long time ago, a complete inability to ever hurt a woman. Right now, I wish they had just skipped over that part in raising me. Hell, even when I'm trying _not_ to hurt one of them, I end up doing it anyway.

Lindsay and I have gotten into a couple arguments recently, mostly because I've been spending a lot of time with Kim and I think she's a little jealous. I can't really blame her. It's just hard when the person you want to be around the most isn't your significant other.

I know it doesn't make sense. Trust me, I've been thinking about this situation for weeks and it never makes any more sense than it did the last time I thought about it. I love Kim, I want and feel like I'm supposed to love Lindsay, I'm afraid of loving Kim, I'm afraid of hurting Lindsay, and my life sucks because of it.

It's times like these where I wish I was still a Ranger. At least when I was a Ranger I knew what I was doing. When it comes to relationships, I'm pretty much as clueless as a man could be.

I just…I can't bring myself to end things with Lindsay because she's never done anything wrong. And I know that's unfair to her but I don't know what else to do. Am I supposed to keep acting like she's the one I want to be with when, all I really want to do is to get in my car, drive straight over to Kim's apartment, and tell her that I love her?

I'm so lost that I feel like I have to work even harder to make things right with Lindsay. Maybe if I just try harder it'll all work out. That was my train of thought when I decided to cancel my last class of the day, come home early, and try to surprise Lindsay on her birthday.

Along with the dozen roses I have in my hand, I've got a bottle of wine, all her favorite movies, and the prospect of a quite night in with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, I think she ended up surprising me more than I surprised her. I can hear her moaning loudly the moment I let myself into our apartment.

At this point I don't even think, I just act. By some sheer stroke of luck, the wine bottle landed straight up without breaking when it slipped out of my hand along with the flowers and DVD's. I'm up the stairs and at our bedroom door so fast it would have made Conner jealous. I'm about to barge in when I suddenly stop myself.

Maybe she's just, you know…helping herself. That theory goes out the window when I hear a distinctly male voice saying "Oh fuck," over and over. From that moment on, everything pretty much becomes a blur. I don't even bother trying the door knob, I just ram my shoulder into the thing and rip it right off the hinges.

"Oh, shit! Tommy!" Lindsay yells as she rolls off of the guy she was just on top of. She wraps herself in _our_ sheets and looks at me in surprise. "Tommy, it's not what you think, I swear!"

I'm pretty sure my eyes just flashed green because the guy in our bed looks like he just about pissed himself. I see his face and recognize that he looks familiar but who he is doesn't register with me immediately. At the moment, I'm too pissed off to notice that it's Alex, Kim's ex-boyfriend.

A disbelieving laugh from me follows the most bullshit statement I've ever heard come out of another person's mouth before. "Not what I think!? Not what I think!? What happened, Lindsay!? Did you trip and fall and land on his fucking dick!?"

I don't even wait for a reply. When I realize it's Alex in our bed, I'm so blind with rage that I have to leave the room before I beat the living crap out of him. Alcohol. I need alcohol and I need it badly. The bottle of Jack Daniel's in the freezer will do perfectly.

The glass I pour myself goes down in one big gulp sending a burning sensation down my throat that's both painful and soothing at the same time. I go through two glasses, probably four or five shots per glass, in less than two minutes. Somehow, I ended up on the couch crying my eyes out but I don't remember how I got there.

A few minutes later, I hear the front door open and shut then see Lindsay walk into the living room. She looks embarrassed. Good. I hope you know that I think you're the scum of the earth and nothing more than a two-bit, lying whore.

"Tommy, I-"

"How long?" I ask, cutting her off before she can finish her sentence. She doesn't answer me immediately. Instead, she walks over and takes a seat on the loveseat across from where I am on the couch. "How long, Lindsay? How fucking long have you been cheating on me!?"

I don't care that I made her flinch. I don't care if she's afraid of me. She should be afraid of me, right now. All I wanted to do was make things work between us and this bitch has the audacity to cheat on me. I seriously can't believe what I just saw happening in _our_bed; the same bed that we slept and made love in.

"A month."

My head shakes uncontrollably in disbelief. "A month!? A fucking month!? How could you do that, Lindsay!? How could you cheat on me!? How could you bring that piece of shit over here and fuck him in our bed, huh!? Answer me!?"

"Tommy, there is nothing I can say that will make you feel better. I made my choice and I have to live with it but if you're honest with yourself, we both knew something like this was going to happen eventually. I was just protecting myself."

I'm genuinely surprised by the fact that she's so surprisingly calm about all of this. It's like she doesn't even care that I just caught her cheating on me. And the fact that it's been going on for a month and I didn't even have a clue about it is what hurts the most.

"What are you talking about!? Protecting yourself from what!?" I yell at her. Clearly, I'm not nearly as calm about this situation as she is. She just sits there with her hands in her lap, waiting for me to stop yelling at her. Well, guess what? I'm not done yelling, yet. "You know what, you disgust me! I really wanted to make things work between us. I get off early to come surprise you for your birthday and find you fucking my best friend's ex!? What the fuck is going through your head!?"

"You don't get it, do you?" Lindsay asks calmly.

"Get what?"

"We can all see it, Tommy. Everyone but you, that is."

"Don't give me that psychobabble bullshit, Lindsay, 'cause I am _not_ in the mood for it, right now!" I snarl. "What can everyone else see that I can't!?"

Turning her head, Lindsay looks at a picture that rests on the mantle over the television. It's one of the only pictures that's ever been taken with all of Zordon's twelve Rangers. I can still remember when we took that picture.

It was taken after Rocky and Aisha's wedding a few years back. The guys, even Justin, were all in their tuxedos with ties accentuating our various Ranger colors, and the girls had done the same with their corsages. At first glance, especially to an outsider of our circle, there wasn't anything all that special about the picture. Then I look at myself and see that Kim is tucked under my arm, and we're both smiling so brightly.

We had just buried the hatchet and agreed to be friends again, and though neither of us have ever said it to the other person, I know we were both unbelievably happy at the prospect of being back in each other's lives again.

And that's when it hits me like a ton of bricks plowing directly into my chest.

No matter how hard I could have tried to make things work between myself and Lindsay, I would have failed. We, as a couple, eventually would have failed because I was too blind to see what was right in front of me.

"Why can't you just admit that you love her, Tommy?" she asks, shaking her head. "I see the way you look at her when you think I'm not paying attention. I see the way you light up when you guys are around each other. It's like everyone except for you knows that you're still in love with her."

She may be right but that doesn't change the fact that what she did is completely unacceptable. "How I feel about Kim, really doesn't matter and it doesn't change the fact that I would have never cheated on you! You wanna know something? Kim told me she loved me. She even made a move on me but I stopped her because I thought I loved you and I thought you loved me, too! I guess I was wrong, though!"

"No, Tommy. You weren't wrong. I do love you. You're the sweetest, nicest, most caring man I've ever met." She tells me this as if it's some solace to the fact that she's been cheating on me for a month. "I just…I knew it wouldn't work out between us; not when you're still harboring those feelings for Kim."

"If you were so sure that things weren't going to work out, then why didn't you just break up with me instead of going behind my back and cheating?" I ask her. I think I already know the answer but I need to hear it come out of her mouth.

"Because I didn't know how to break up with you, Tommy. Just like you didn't know how to break up with me. We both know that things have been going downhill for us these past few weeks…"

"We could have talked it out…tried to make things better. I know I was willing to at least try to work things out."

Progressively, as Lindsay has explained her side to me, my anger level has gone down. I may not agree with what she did but, at the very least, I can kind of understand where she's coming from. She's right when she says that things had been going downhill between us. I guess part of the blame for that falls on my shoulders. I was so caught up in what was happening between me and Kim that I wasn't paying as much attention or spending as much time with Lindsay as I should have been.

"No, we couldn't have. If I thought we could have, I would have tried because I'm not lying when I say that I do love you. And I know you love me, too. It just…it wasn't meant to be for us, Tommy. You're an amazing man and I truly cherish these last two years we've spent together but it's time for both of us to move on."

"Why Alex?" I ask, unconsciously laughing at her choice. Surprisingly, she laughs too. "I mean, you're smart, gorgeous, funny, and Alex is, well…" I decide not to finish my thought in case she actually has genuine feelings for the man. Deep down, I know that I probably shouldn't care about offending her or hurting her feelings, but I do and, once again, I'm going to blame it on my parents for instilling decent morals in me.

"Honestly?" No, Lindsay. I want you to lie to me again like you've been doing for the last fucking month! Of course, honestly. Instead of saying that, though, I just sigh and nod my head. "Because I was trying to make you mad and, in some weird way, I thought being with someone who had been with Kim would not only get to you but to Kim as well. I know it sounds immature but that's what I was thinking at the time."

I have to laugh at that one. Alex is a tool; an out-and-out fucking tool. If you were doing yard work and went into a shed in search of a tool to use, Alex would be right there at the forefront, ripe for the picking.

He's fucking clown shoes.

"If you were trying to get my goat, Alex was the wrong guy to do it with." I'm laughing pretty hard now and so is Lindsay because I think, deep down, she knows what a loser Alex really is. "And I don't think Kim would care, either. To quote her, Alex is a 'fucking asshole jerkoff bastard.'"

Guess I'm not worried about hurting her feelings anymore, eh?

"Wow, Kim said that?" she asks. I just chuckle and nod my head. I can still hear her saying that in my head and thinking about it always makes me laugh. "That's surprising. Doesn't really sound like the type of thing Kim would say."

"Tell me about it."

We both share a laugh and then an uncomfortable and equally awkward silence weasels its' way into the room. For the longest time we just stare at each other, unsure of what to say or if there's anything left that really even needs to be said anymore. Lindsay must have been thinking the same thing because she suddenly decides to end the silence.

"I just want you to know how sorry I am for the way I went about things. Cheating on you was wrong. I should have just ended things but I didn't know how and I really am sorry for that." Her apology actually sounds like a genuine one. I've known this woman for two years and she doesn't have a malicious bone in her body. That's what really surprised me about this whole thing. "I'm sure you probably hate me, and I don't blame you if you do. I'd probably hate me if I was in your shoes. But, I guess what I'm getting at is…do you think we could ever be friends?"

Wow! I definitely wasn't expecting that one. How do I answer that? I mean, regardless of the fact that she cheated on me, I really do care about Lindsay but I don't know if being friends is in the cards for us.

"I don't know, Linds, I really don't." It hurts inside but I'm trying not to let her see how much emotional pain I'm in. I've had to blink back tears quite a few times. She probably noticed and just didn't say anything about it. "Maybe…maybe someday down the road we can be friends but, right now, I think it's probably for the best if we just go our separate ways."

From the look on her face, that wasn't the answer that she was hoping to hear from me. It sucks, ending a relationship on terms like these; especially when you care so much about the person on the other end. But I'm still really hurt by what happened and a friendship is based on trust and I can't trust her right now. I wish I could, but I can't.

She smiles at me as she blinks away a few tears of her own. Part of me, the sensitive, nice guy part, wants to wipe her tears away but the cynical side of me is actually kind of enjoying seeing her upset.

"Yeah, you're probably right. It'd probably be really weird and all that." Her words say one thing but her face says another. Still, this isn't one of those times where Tommy's gonna cave in at the sight of tears. For once, I'm going to be strong for me instead of for someone else. "I'll, uh…I'll just let myself out."

"Yeah, and I'll, umm…get all your stuff together and bring it by your parents' house one day next week."

Is that going to inconvenience her? Probably. Am I being a dick right now? Maybe. Am I enjoying the hell out of it? You can bet your as I am! It's finally time that I start doing what's best for Tommy instead of always worrying about how everyone else feels.

"K. Bye, Tommy."

I'm surprised she doesn't argue with me but I'm too proud of myself for standing up for myself to care. I plaster a fake smile on my face and nod my head. "Bye, Lindsay. Take care of yourself."

"Yeah, you too."

A sigh of relief escapes my lips when I hear the door click shut. After getting up and locking the door, I pour myself another glass of whiskey, and take it back with me to my seat on the couch. Only when I hear Lindsay's car pull away and I've downed my third glass of the strong brown liquid do I allow myself to really cry.

The tears fall softly at first, just a few slowly trickling their way down my face. Then I look at the picture of all of us at the wedding and they start to fall harder. It's then that I realize how much time I've wasted, living this lie of a life with Lindsay when I could have been exponentially happier with Kim.

Hopefully, I still have a chance to make things right with her; to let her know how much I care about her and how much she truly means to me. But before I do anything, there's someone I need to call to that can help me out and it's not who you'd expect, either. I've only needed him a couple times before and it has never been for anything like this…

…I need Adam.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Friday, February 14th**

**8:30 p.m.**

**The Gig, 11637 West Pico Blvd., Los Angeles, CA**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

It's times like these where I should be excited beyond belief. I'm performing second to last tonight which means I get to be on stage for almost an hour instead of my usual thirty minutes and, on top of that, I'm selling and signing copies of my first CD when I'm finished playing.

Yep, you heard me right. Kim Hart just finished her very first album. It's nothing major; I mean, I don't even have a record label to release it. It's only a dozen of my songs that I recorded in my spare time these last few months but I'm still proud of myself for doing it. I'm not expecting to get rich off it or become famous or anything like that. It's just a way for whatever fan base I've developed to enjoy my music when I'm not playing live at a club.

So, like I said before, I should be really, really excited right now. Instead, I feel empty and alone inside because the one person I want to be here more than anything isn't. Tommy never misses one of my performances but, ever since he caught Lindsay cheating on him, he's pretty much been M.I.A. We've talked a few times and hung out once or twice but nothing like the way things used to be.

What really surprises me about him not being here, though, is that today's my birthday. Even when we weren't on good terms, Tommy never forgot my birthday. No matter where I was, no matter how far apart we were both physically and emotionally, he always at least sent me a card.

I miss him.

And I'd be lying if I said part of me wasn't just a wee-bit happy when I found out he and Lindsay broke up. I know, I know; I shouldn't take pleasure in the heartbreak of my best friend but what girl wouldn't be excited if they found out the man they loved had just become single again?

Honestly, I wouldn't care if every single person in the club came here just to see me perform. The only person I want to be here isn't and that hurts. I don't really have much time to think about that, though.

According to the schedule of bands they have posted backstage that I'm currently looking at, a local band called _Soaring Eagle_ is supposed to finish their set in about five minutes. I'm a little bit confused by who comes after them, though. I've been bumped down to start at 9:00 instead of 8:45 but that's not what confuses me. Right after _Soaring Eagle _gets done, the schedule says there's a "special guest" performing.

That's all it says. No band name, just "special guest." And judging by the small amount of time between whoever the special guest is and myself, it seems like they'd only have enough time to play one or two songs before it's my turn to hit the stage.

The sound of applause coming from out front lets me know that _Soaring Eagle_ has just finished their set. That means Mickey, the club manager, will be coming out here in a minute or two to introduce the special guest, whoever they are.

I'm sitting on a stool behind the curtain, making sure my acoustic guitar is tuned up when I hear Mickey tap on the microphone and clear his throat. "Ladies and gentleman, thank you all for coming out. We have a very special guest for you tonight." No, duh. Get it over with already. "This next band played their very first gig here, at_The Gig_, four years ago. They released their platinum debut album, "Kicking Cans," last year and are currently in the studio recording their follow-up record but they've taken some time out of their busy schedule to come here and play a song for you tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce to you, _Leap Frog_!"

I was out of my seat and looking out the curtain as soon as Mickey said "Kicking Cans." I remember being one of the first people in line at one of the local record stores to buy it the day it came out. I must have bought thirty copies of it just so I could give them out to people I know.

A huge smile creeps across my face when one of my oldest friends steps out of the shadows at the side of the stage and walks onto the stage with his band behind him. It's been too long since the last time I saw Adam and he looks great. And from the look of it, he's still using the same black Fender Stratocaster I got him for his twenty-second birthday.

I'm so proud of him. He asked me to teach him guitar when he first moved to Angel Grove and he was pretty much a natural from the get-go. But if you had asked me ten years ago what I thought our shy, quiet, reserved Black Ranger would end up doing with his life, lead singer and guitarist for an incredibly popular rock band would have been at the bottom of the list.

He never liked having a bunch of attention on him when we were kids but, from what I've seen of him in the media and stuff, he's handled it well. Not that that surprises me; Adam was never a troublemaker but that doesn't change the fact that a lot of celebrities still end up in trouble.

But not my Adam. He's handled being a celebrity so well. I'm sure it doesn't hurt that his wife opens up for his band every night, though.

As he's plugging in his guitar, he looks my way and winks at me. I smile back at him and give him a little wave before he turns to address the crowd that's pretty much going ballistic for him and the other three members of his four-piece band.

My little Adam has grown up so much but he still dresses like a typical teenager would today. With his black hoodie, blue jeans, studded belt, and black baseball cap pulled down over his eyes, he looks the part of a modern day rocker.

"What's going on, L.A.!? How are you all doing, tonight?" he yells into the microphone. The two-hundred people in the club go nuts, screaming and clapping louder than I ever thought two-hundred people could manage. A few minutes later, once the crowd noise has died down, he starts talking again. "Alright, then! An old friend of mine called me up a couple weeks ago and asked if me and the band would come out here and play a song for you. We're just gonna play one and it's from that old friend, dedicated to a very special lady you'll meet here in a few minutes. Kim," he continues, looking back to where I'm standing with a smile on his face, "this one's for you, girl!"

"Tommy," I whisper to myself, covering my mouth with my hands. He's the only one in the Ranger family I can think of persuasive enough to get Adam to come down here all the way from New York just to play one song. And for the first time in a long time, I feel a little less incomplete.

When Adam starts playing, it's not what I'm expecting. All the songs on "Kicking Cans" were up-tempo, pop-punk type songs like early Green Day and blink-182. What he and the guys are playing now is softer and more melodic.

I've always been a sucker for a good guitar riff and the one he's playing is so amazingly perfect and beautiful that it brings a few tears to my eyes. And instead of singing loud and fast like he usually does, Adam's voice blends perfectly with the background music.

_This time, this place,  
Misused, mistakes  
Too long, too late  
Who was I to make you wait?  
Just one chance  
Just one breath  
Just in case there's just one left  
'Cause you know,  
You know, you know_

_That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
And you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore_

_On my knees, I'll ask  
Last chance for one last dance  
'Cause with you, I'd withstand  
All of hell to hold your hand  
I'd give it all  
I'd give for us  
Give anything but I won't give up  
'Cause you know,  
You know, you know_

_That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
And you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore_

_So far away  
Been far away for far too long  
So far away  
Been far away for far too long  
But you know, you know, you know_

_You wanted  
You wanted me to stay  
'Cause you needed  
You need to hear me say  
That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
Can you forgive me  
For being away for far too long?  
_

_So keep breathing  
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it  
Hold on to me and, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it  
_

_Hold on to me and, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
Hold on to me and, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
Hold on to me and, never let me go_

Thomas James Oliver. I swear to God, if you put Adam up to this, I'm going to kick you right square in the ass and then give you the biggest hug of your life.

As soon as the song ends, I find myself struggling not to cry. I have to perform soon and I can't go out there looking like I just had an emotional meltdown.

The crowd's screaming for an encore but Adam's shaking his head which seems to deflate the crowd a bit. I get the distinct feeling that I'm going to have a pretty hard time following up that performance. I'm no platinum recording artist so hopefully, the crowd will stick around long enough to see me, too.

"Alright, guys! That's it for us, tonight! Our new CD, 'Stories From The Grove,' is coming out in May so make sure you pick that up when it hits stores!" Adam tells the crowd. Once again, I know that I'll be one of the first people in line to get it. "This next woman is a very special friend of mine. We go way back to high school in Angel Grove so please, give a warm welcome to Ms. Kimberly Hart!"

Taking a deep breath, I pick up my guitar and step out from behind the curtain, walking across the stage to where Adam's standing with his arms wide open. I'm so focused on what I'm doing that I don't even know if the crowd's cheering for me or not. I smile at Adam, lean my guitar against my stool, and step into his embrace as he hugs me tightly, rocking me back and forth from side-to-side.

"Wow. That's gonna be a tough performance to beat, frog boy," I say with a smile.

"Yeah, but I know you. You'll do great, short stuff," he tells me. Adam's always had the ability to reassure someone, regardless of how nervous or afraid they were. It seems like he hasn't lost that talent. "Knock 'em dead for me, okay?"

"I'll do my best."

"That's all you can ever do. We're gonna be in town for a couple more days so I'll call you tomorrow or Saturday. Maybe we can get together and have a cup of coffee or something; play catch up and all that good stuff?"

"Definitely. We'll talk later but, right now, I think I should probably get my ass over there and start singing before these guys get ornery and decide to throw fruits and vegetables at me."

We both laugh at that and Adam nods his head before throwing his guitar over his shoulder and walking backstage with his band. I take a deep breath and climb up onto the stool, strap my guitar around my shoulder then fiddle with the microphone so that I can talk to the crowd.

"Hey, everyone. Let's have one more round of applause for one of my best friends and the rest of the guys from _Leap Frog_!"

While the crowd's cheering, I look all around for Tommy but I don't see him anywhere. Disappointed is a fitting word to describe how I'm feeling at the moment. But I can't let the fact that he's not here get to me. I just have to suck it up and do what I'm here to do regardless of how I feel about it.

For the most part, the crowd's still hot from Adam and his band. Very few people left when I took the stage so I guess that's a positive. It could be worse. There could be no one here but, like I said, I'd rather be performing for one special person than a bunch of people that I don't even know.

I play all the songs that I have on my album and in between each song, and even while I'm singing, I keep a lookout for Tommy but he never shows. My hour goes by faster than I expected and, before I know it, I only have time for one last song. I don't usually like to end my sets with sad songs but I wrote a new one the other day and I feel the need to get it off my chest.

"Alright, guys, this is my last song for the night." Holy shit, the crowd actually booed a little when I said that. You know you're doing something right when the crowd reacts that way to the end of your set. "Don't worry, I'll be back in a couple weeks. I'll be selling and signing my new CD in like, half an hour so, if you've got an extra ten bucks and you can't decide how to spend it, come by and pick up a copy. Thanks again for sticking around, guys."

As I start to pick at my guitar again, I have to blink back a few tears. This song is one that is deeply personal to me. It's everything I wanted to say but couldn't verbalize except through song.

_You look at me, I fake a smile so you won't see  
That I want and I'm needing, everything that we should be  
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl you talk about  
And she's got everything, that I have to live without_

_You talk to me, I laugh 'cause it's so damn funny  
That I can't even see, anyone when you're with me  
You say you're so in love, you finally got it right,  
I wonder if you know you're all I think about at night_

_You're the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
You're the song in the car, I keep singing, don't know why I do_

_You walk by me, can you tell that I can't breathe?  
And there you go, so perfectly,  
The kind of flawless I wish I could be  
She'd better hold you tight, give you all her love  
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky 'cause_

_You're the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
You're the song in the car, I keep singing, don't know why I do_

_So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light  
I'll put you're picture down and maybe  
Get some sleep tonight_

_You're the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart  
You're the song in the car, I keep singing, don't know why I do  
_

_You're the time taken up, but there's never enough  
And you're all that I need to fall into.._

_You look at me, I fake a smile so you won't see…_

I play a few more chords, allowing the music to slowly fade away until there's nothing but silence. I'm genuinely surprised by the reaction of the crowd. There are more than a few people with tears in their eyes and almost everyone is out of their seats, clapping, screaming, and whistling.

"Thank you all so much. It means the world to me." My words come from the heart. Never in a million years would I have expected such a positive and warm reaction to any of my music, much less a song that's so sad. "You guys have all been awesome. I'll see you soon."

After taking my bow, I pack up and walk offstage to cool off for a few minutes before I have to go back out to try and sell some CD's. I'm drained both physically and emotionally, and I know the Advil I just popped won't kick in for awhile but I have to deal with it if I want to cover the cost of recording an album. Even a small scale record like mine isn't cheap to record and produce.

At least the people at _The Gig_ have always taken good care of me. They've got a table set up near the entrance with a bunch of my CD's already stacked up and a black Sharpie so I'm ready to go. The free Corona doesn't hurt, either.

For about an hour I sign CD's and I've actually got a pretty steady flow of people who want to buy my album which is an awesome feeling. It feels good to know that so many people appreciate my music.

Occasionally, a drunk asshole comes around and tries to hit on me but I don't mind. When that happens I just shoot a look to my bouncer friend T.B. and he comes and takes care of it. T.B.'s real name is Rick but I nicknamed him T.B. a long time ago. It stands for Teddy Bear 'cause, even though he's six-foot-four and weighs in at two-hundred and fifty pounds of solid muscle, he's nothing more than a big ol' softy at heart.

I'm turned around in my seat, getting everything packed up so I can catch a cab and head home for the night when I hear someone clear their throat. "Hey. Do you think that you have enough time to sign one for me?"

"Yeah, of course. Anything for a fan," I reply, turning around with my Sharpie in hand. I look up to ask who he wants it made out to and drop my pen. He's standing there looking at me wearing a huge smile. "Tommy? What-what are you doing here?"

"Are you kidding me? It's your birthday. I've never missed one before and I don't plan on starting any time soon. Which reminds me; did you like your present?" he asks me. Before I can reply, he starts talking again. "You better say yes. I practically had to beg Adam to fly out here."

I smile at him and nod my head. "Yeah, Tommy. I loved it."

"Good. I'm glad. And I want you to know how proud I am of you. You never cease to amaze me."

"Tommy, I'm playing small gigs at local clubs not sold out stadiums and arenas like Adam."

Why couldn't I just accept the compliment? Maybe it's my cynical side acting up again like that day at the mall when I thought Tommy was just trying to play games with me. But there's something in his eyes tonight that's different, something I haven't seen from him in quite some time.

"Kim, I don't care how big of a venue you play. You're doing something you enjoy and you're incredible at it. And if you ask me, that's all that really matters."

"Thank you. That means a lot to me," I tell him.

He surprises me by taking my hands and pulling me up out of my seat. Once I'm on my feet, he moves in close so that the only space between us is the clothes we're wearing. Tommy reaches out with his hand, using his palm to gently stroke the side of my face.

His touch feels so amazing. In an instant, I remember how much I've missed being this close to him. Even the softest of touches from Tommy is enough to make me go weak in the knees. When he dips his head, I think he's going to try and kiss me but, instead, he puts his lips right next to my ear and whispers, "Anything for the woman I love."

"Tommy, please don't-" I start but he puts a hand up to silence me. I've been hoping and praying that the day would come where I'd get to hear him say that to me again but he's fresh out of a long-term relationship. I know Tommy inside and out. He's vulnerable and I don't want to be the rebound girl.

"Kim, please, just hear me out 'cause I only have the courage to say this once." Sighing, I nod my head and he takes that as his cue to continue. "That day at the mall when you told me you loved me was like something out of my wildest dreams and, stupid as it sounds, I was afraid. Everything I had ever wanted was right there in front of me but I didn't know how to react."

"I convinced myself that I couldn't be in love with you because I was with Lindsay. But the more I thought about it and the more time I spent with you away from her, the more I started to realize that I_could_ be in love you. I wasted the last few months of my life by telling myself I loved Lindsay when the truth of the matter, is that I have never loved anyone as much as I love you."

Are you telling me the truth, Tommy? Is that really how you feel? I want to believe it. I want to believe it more than anything but I don't know if I can. My heart says yes but my head says no. At least, not until you've had a little more time to grieve the end of your relationship with Lindsay.

"Don't tell me that, Tommy. I don't want to be the rebound girl, okay? I can't be the rebound girl. That's just not who I am."

"I don't want you to be the rebound girl, Kim. I want you to be the only girl."

"I don't believe you."

Having to tell him that does nothing more then shatter my heart into a million little pieces. Tears start to fill my eyes and, seeing as how I don't want Tommy to see them, I have to look away. He squeezes my hands and gives my arms a gentle tug that I try desperately to ignore. I just can't bring myself to face him.

"Look at me, Kim. Look at me," he says in his best leader voice. As much as I want to avoid looking at him, I can't. I face him but I don't make eye contact. "Look me right in my eyes and tell me that you can't see how serious I am right now. Like Adam's song, my eyes will tell you everything that my words can't. They always have. If you really can look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't think my feelings for you are serious then I'll forget about this whole thing and we can just go back to being friends."

Tommy's eyes have always told the truth even when his words didn't. He's easily the most readable person I've ever met. When I finally bring myself to look him in the eyes, I'm rewarded with the truth. And it's the most amazing feeling.

The millions of little pieces my heart was just in suddenly patch themselves back together. He's serious. He really loves me and I've never been happier than I am at this very moment. But instead of saying anything, I just step forward, wrap my arms around him, and hope that my actions are all the answer he needs.

"Well?"

Leave it to Tommy to need verbal confirmation when all I want is for him to hold me close and tell me he loves me over and over again. Pulling back just enough so that I look up at him, our eyes lock and I give him my brightest smile. "Are you just gonna stand there or do I have to give you permission to kiss me?"

Tommy just chuckles and shakes his head. "I love you so much, Beautiful."

"Show me."

"With pleasure."

He cups my cheeks and our lips meet softly in the most wonderful kiss I've ever had the privilege of experiencing. It's warm, tender, and filled with the heartfelt feelings of a long lost love recently rediscovered. The kiss only lasts a few seconds but it's so magical that I don't care.

When our lips part, I let out a sigh and lay the side of my head on Tommy's chest as he holds me close to him. There's silence between us but it isn't awkward or uncomfortable, it's understanding.

We've both been through so much crap these past few months but we never wavered. We stayed strong, took our licks, and bounced back like only a Ranger can do. And now, because of that, we've found each other again. Being with Tommy like this is everything that I could have ever hoped for and more.

"I love you, Tommy."

"I love you too, Beautiful," he replies, kissing me on the top of my head.

It's with reluctance that I step out of his embrace. I want to show Tommy how much I love him and what I have in mind isn't exactly appropriate for the public to see. But I still want to be close to him so I step to his left and wrap both my arms around his own arm. "Come on, Handsome. Let's get out of here."

"Where are we going?"

I look him right in the eyes and smile.

"Home, Tommy. We're going home."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


End file.
